His agonizing groans traveled beyond the closed chamber door. It was Joseph. My Joseph. What could be troubling him so? With one ear pressed tightly to the shut entrance, I listened as his cries grew. I couldn’t leave him alone like this.
The door creaked slightly as my fingers pushed it forward. Joseph braced himself against a wall, palms pressing into its hard surface.
“Joseph?” I whispered, stepping fully into the room.
The sound of his weeping reminded me of a time early on in our marriage. There were nights I would awake to find Joseph crying out in his sleep, very much like this. His dreams held a deep sadness that even his glorious position of power could not overcome.
“Please...talk to me.” My hands rested on his back.
Joseph's body shook underneath my fingertips. I recognized his native language through the broken sobs as he wrapped an arm around his head. I didn't understand every word spoken but the heaviness of them pierced my heart that I too felt my own eyes glisten.
Slowly, Joseph pushed himself away from the solid stone that held him. His head turned toward the door still shut to the world around us. Instinctively, I looked in the same direction. Finally, our eyes met.
“My brothers.” His hand motioned toward the door. “They’ve brought Benjamin.”
“Benjamin?”
I watched my husband desperately try to still his quivering lips. His family was here, in Egypt, seeking refuge once more from the terrible famine that had plagued so many. Only this time his younger brother had come as requested. It had been more than two decades since they last saw one another.
Joseph walked away and peered over a basin filled to the brim with water. He studied the image looking back at him which had changed dramatically from what it used to be. Once an envied young dreamer from Canaan. Now, ruler of all Egypt.
“I was seventeen. The last time I saw them...all of them.” He squinted at his reflection, wrinkling the dark tracings that lined the contours of his eyes. “I begged them to let me go.”
Joseph had only told me once of his brothers betrayal that left him at the bottom of a pit. All conspired against him...except little Benjamin. They nearly killed my husband but rather decided to sell their precious brother for twenty pieces of silver. Into Egypt's hands he went. And not without his share of suffering. As if being sold by family wasn't bad enough. Joseph was wrongfully accused and imprisoned two more years before being brought to Pharaoh. It was his gift of interpreting dreams that led him there. And this had given him the keys to the Egyptian kingdom.
“You’re not at the bottom of that pit anymore, Joseph.” I stood in front of him.
“Yes. I know that.” He dipped both hands in, creating waves over the liquid mirror. “I'm just…completely overwhelmed.”
I tried to imagine myself in my husband's place and simply couldn't without wanting to scream. How had he endured such hardships without allowing hate and bitterness to consume him?
“They wanted me dead, Sena.” His tear stained face was now disguised by the cold splash of water. “And yet…I do not wish to harm them.”
“Do you think he recognized you?” My hand stretched toward him holding a towel. “Benjamin?”
“We are fully blood but no. Not the way I dress now or speak. He had no idea.” Joseph took the towel and dabbed. “I saw myself in him, though.” He swallowed the lump in his throat as though to hold back the emotion rising once more.
“My deepest desire is to reveal my true identity… and that I still I love them...after all these years. Is that cowardly of me?”
“You, Joseph, are the greatest man I know.” I stroked his damp chin. “I've not met one who is as brave.”
“What a gift you are to me, my sweet Sena.” He stepped closer, leaning down to hug me close.
“Is there anything I can do?” I turned my cheek to rest on his shoulder.
His mouth curled as he slowly pulled away to look me in the eye. “Pray for me, Sena. That I will not only do and say the right things. But that I would know when to do them.”
I joined my husband and his brothers for dinner shortly after. It astounded me. The physical resemblance between Benjamin and Joseph. I couldn't help but stare as they ate, mentally taking notes of their near identical mannerisms.
Joseph too would glance at his brother throughout the meal. Quickly his focus would shift from the young man back to his plate. It was true that only he and I knew how difficult this was for him. Yet, regardless of the whirlwind of feelings storming inside, he remained calm, not once giving way to them.
I held him close to me that night, hoping in some small way I could take a measure of the burden he carried. Joseph lied on his back with one arm around me, our free hands intertwining on his chest. The blinking of his eyes grew longer with each minute they stared at the ceiling.
“What are you thinking about?” My tired voice murmured.
“A dream I had many years ago.” His breath warmed the top of my head. “Before coming to Egypt.”
“Ah, where the stars and sheaves bowed to you, my lord.” I snuggled closer to him, smiling. “Amazing, isn't it? How they foretold such truth.”
“My brothers hated me for it.” He chuckled. “Maybe I was too proud at the time.”
“I'm am so very sorry, Joseph.”
“There's nothing you need to be sorry for.” His fingers traced my arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. “Do you know what I realized today?”
“Hmmm?” My heavy lids began to close.
“God brought me here, not my brothers.”
My eyes shot wide open. “Joseph, what they did to you was-” I leaned up on my elbow. “Unimaginable. Are you excusing them?”
He sat up straight. “No. I just cannot ignore the bigger picture here. Regardless of their intent at the time.”
My head nodded.
“I do wonder though.” He reached for my hand. “What would they think of me now? Has the passage of time softened their hearts, even a little?”
“You are right. They did plan to take my life.” He tilted his head back. “But one thing I am certain of. It was God preparing me, through everything, to give life back to them.”
“Oh, Joseph.” Our eyes met. “You truly are the greatest man I know.”
I awoke early the next morning to find an empty space where my husband’s body normally rested. How long had he been gone? There was no sign of him. What was he up to?
A sudden shout sent a bolt through me.
“Everybody out!” Joseph’s voice projected.
What was happening? Quickly, I spun my legs out of bed and wrapped a shawl around both shoulders. I peeked out of the room to find a massive rush of servants rushing by, responding to my husband’s firm demand.
The shouting had changed dramatically to unintelligible sobs. I hurried toward it. Unsure of the cause yet fully aware of the seriousness behind it.
There they stood. All twelve together.
I did not wish for my presence to be known even though I knew Joseph would find no fault in it. The tall pillar next to me provided a much needed hiding place. I slid behind it, trying to remain just as still.
“It’s me!” Another desperate shout came from the man I loved. “Your brother Joseph!”
Silence.
“Please, come closer! I’m the one you sold.”
How I wanted to comfort him again. He had told them who he was. They all knew and were speechless.
“Don’t feel ashamed for what you’ve done. God went before me, that I may be in this position to save you… all of you.” Joseph’s voice broke.
Would his brothers respond? There were no words that I could hear. What was going through their minds? Suddenly, it was not only Joseph’s cries that echoed throughout our quiet home but the eleven as well.
Carefully, I sat down, bringing both knees to my chest. The sound of grown men weeping in such a way moved me beyond anything I've ever experienced. They were home again.
Minutes passed and it was growing rather calm on the other side of the barrier between us. The men resembling Joseph began to depart, still shaken by the unexpected reunion. Thankful to have been unnoticed, I watched them file past me.
Benjamin walked only a few strides ahead of Joseph. Before taking another, he turned to face the brother that had been gone in his mind until only moments ago. He brought a shaking hand to his lips, his eyes still in awe of the man before him. Joseph placed both of his hands on Benjamin's shoulders and embraced him tightly before letting him go.
Tears continued to trickle out of my eyes and nose as I watched the final brother walk away. Without thinking I sniffled, loudly.
He found me.
“Sena, darling.” Joseph held out his hand. “Are you alright?”
I reached for his palm and stared at the man I had grown to admire so. The words would not come. Yet there was an indescribable peace in our silence.
He lifted me up, the strength of his one arm enough and more to sustain me. All of a sudden, the gleam of a shining silver cup nestled in Joseph’s grip caught my attention.
I raised a brow.
“They would have given their lives to protect one.” He watched Benjamin’s fading figure. “The one who was found with this.”
Everything made sense. Joseph purposely planted the chalice on the brother most like himself. Giving the others a chance to defend and not abandon.
“Benjamin.” I whispered.
He stared at the gleaming goblet. “How their hearts have changed.”
Healing had come. After all these years, restoration had come to the most broken of families. Did they even believe such a thing was possible? To the human mind one would say most certainly not. However, I had learned first hand that nothing...absolutely nothing was too difficult for God. Evil had no choice but to bow to good. Life overcame death. And I wept alongside my husband at having never been so proud to be his.
No comments:
Post a Comment