Friday, June 24, 2016

Ruth


           “What do you mean you want us to go back?  We can’t leave you now!”

My cheeks began to flush as I stared into my mother-in-law’s firm eyes. Was she serious?  We were to return home after everything we had endured together?  No.  I couldn’t turn my back on her.  Too much had happened.  We were all each other had.  


“Ruth.  Orpah.  You must return home.  There is nothing left for you here.”  She bit her bottom lip, trying to contain the tears fighting to fall.  “Our husbands are gone. You must move on to make new homes and families for yourselves.”

“My home is with you.”  I touched her shoulder.  “I am not going anywhere.”

Orpah hugged me suddenly as her wet cheek pressed tightly against mine.  My eyes plead with hers to stay.  Though not related by blood, we were through our husbands.  They were brothers.  She was my dearest and closest friend.  I couldn’t allow her to just walk away.

“Orpah, please don’t go.” I squeezed her a little tighter in hopes she could feel the longing of my heart.  We had lost too much already.  I wasn’t ready for this.  Neither was she.  

“Ruth, I must.” She broke our embrace and kissed the mother of our deceased husbands goodbye.

Naomi, my mother-in-law, stared into the distance until Orpah’s figure was nothing more than a tiny dark shadow.  I bit my lip in anger.  Did we mean so little to her?  

“You should go home as well, Ruth.”  Her gaze shifted to me.  “Join your sister.”

I raised my chin.  “Where you go, I go.”

It was true that our personalities often clashed in this way not because we disliked one another but because we were so similar. Stubborn was the best word that came to mind.  We equally shared this trait of passion as I liked to call it.

Naomi let out a sigh and curled one side of her mouth upward.  Would she relent?  I wasn’t backing down and she knew it.

“Well, if you insist, I suppose your company on my journey home would be quite...welcome.”  Her outstretched arms gave me hope that our lives would continue on together, not apart.

We traveled on to Bethlehem, just the two of us.  How I wished to have shared this journey with my sister.  I couldn’t help but think of her and how she was faring.  The possibility of never seeing her again consumed me.  Had I made the right decision?  Should I have joined her on a different path?

Days passed and I was growing rather used to the town’s buzzing of our arrival.  Naomi had returned home only this time with an outsider, or foreigner as many called me.  I had to find something useful to do with my time. We were our own providers now.  That reality was not going away anytime soon.

“I have been thinking, Naomi, and there’s no reason that I should stay here all day.  I need to work.”  My mother in law gave a gentle nod and raised her brow in approval.

“What did you have in mind, daughter?”

“Well, I was thinking of gleaning in the fields, following the other harvesters of course.” I cupped my elbows in both hands.

“A very good idea, indeed.”  Naomi smiled.  “However, always get permission first and  be cautious of whose field you are working in.  You are a beautiful young woman.  Please, be safe.”

The next morning I sought work right away in a nearby field and was pleased to have been received so kindly.  I didn’t mind being busy.  It was a pleasant distraction from the pain of my past and worry of what the future held.

Hours passed and salty drips trickled down my temples as I worked in the hot afternoon sun.  The nagging twinge in my back was becoming difficult to ignore with every bend to the ground below.  I paused for a moment, closed my eyes and slowly stretched tall, basking in the relief it provided.  My lids slowly opened.  Two brown irises peered into my own.  I gasped.

“Forgive me, Ruth, is it?”  The man took a step closer.

A nod was all I could do. My mother in law had warned me about working in the fields alone.  At first my instinct was to run but there was something familiar and welcoming in this stranger’s expression.

“I never meant to startle you.”  He smiled.  “My name is Boaz, the owner of this field.”

“I am so sorry, sir.”  I placed my sack of grain back on the ground.  “I asked your servant for permission this morning.  If you wish me to go I will leave at once.”

“No, you've misunderstood!”  He lifted the bag and placed in back into my arms.  “You are welcome here, Ruth.”

I stood bewildered. Why was this man being so generous? What would he expect in return? Our family had been through the worst life could bring. It was hard for me to receive anything good.

“You are to remain here as long as you desire.  Please, use my field before going to anyone else's.”  Our eyes locked.  “You will be safe under my care, I promise.”

Boaz studied me momentarily as I stood speechless. There was so much I wanted to say yet couldn't find the words just yet.  He dismissed himself with a gentle nod of his head before turning around.

“Why are you doing all of this for me?”  I squeezed the bag of grain nervously.

He stopped in his tracks and he faced me once more.  “Because you deserve it, Ruth.”  

Humbled, I lowered myself before this mysterious man of grace. On my knees with head bent I remained, not only to show my gratitude but to hide the emotion that leaked down my cheeks. I felt a close presence in front of me even as I knelt.  My curious eyes lifted to find his gaze once more.  A breath of embarrassment left my pursed lips as Boaz extended a hand to me.

“It's alright.”  He lifted me to where he stood.  “I know…”

I wasn't exactly sure how this man came to know of my present or even past circumstances.  Still there was no denying the warmth in his eyes as he carefully looked over my sullen face.  Not a hint of surprise or alarm existed in his own countenance.  If I had to sum up in one word the way he presented himself it would have been...understanding.

 “Are you hungry?”  

I had not thought of food at all until Boaz mentioned it.  I dropped my head as loud gurgles echoed from my stomach.  We both laughed to ourselves.  “Please, come with me. Help yourself to some lunch and plenty of water. My servant tells me you've been working nonstop since early this morning.”

Delighted, I sat with the other harvesters and enjoyed my fill.  My eyes followed Boaz as he approached one of his workers and began to whisper to him.  He glanced in my direction, causing me to look away for fear that he believed I was eavesdropping.

My steady pace continued until nightfall.  Perhaps it was my imagination but there seemed to be more to collect this time around.  I couldn't wait to tell Naomi about the wonderful day I had and show her the fruits of my labor.

“I see you found some work today!”  Naomi exclaimed, seeing me burst through the door nearly out of breath.  The weight of the grain was taxing to carry but was I ever so thankful for it.

            “Whose field where you blessed enough to work in to bring all this home?”  Her arms

cradled the heavy load.

“A man named Boaz.”

“Boaz?” Naomi's head whipped around.

“You know of him?”

“God hasn't forgotten us after all, my daughter!”  She clasped her hands tightly together.

My eyebrow rose in confusion.  What about his name made Naomi beam with joy?  I felt her fingers grasp both of my arms as she announced, “Why, he’s our guardian redeemer!”

No wonder his eyes looked so familiar. He was a close relative of my husband's family. I wanted to believe that this was all simply coincidence.  My heart knew otherwise. God was leading my footsteps, literally, to the one who could change everything.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months.  One evening in particular I arrived home late from working. I sat alone in the darkness of our little home and wondered if my life would always be this way. Not that I despised it.  But the fear that we would never rise above our circumstances was a harsh reality to two women whose husbands were no longer living.

“Home late again my dear?” Naomi approached the table where I sat.

“Yes, it was a good day though.”  My drooping shoulders said otherwise.

“Ruth, I think it's time we talked about the future.”  She plopped down into a chair.

What future? I thought.

“My future is with you, Naomi.” I forced a smile across my lips.

“You have more than me now.”  Naomi squeezed my hand.

It was this night she laid out a plan to restore all that had been taken.  A plan that would bring love and family back into our broken world.  The mere thought of it had me shaking like a leaf inside, yet, underneath all of my uncomfortable feelings a small amount of peace existed. Like a tiny pearl at the bottom of a raging sea.

~*~*~*~
   
Darkness began to saturate the evening sky as I made my way to the man I had come to know so well over the past several months.  My stomach was in knots at what I was about to do.  Not only had I discussed in detail the plan with Naomi, but my mind replayed it over and over to the point of exhaustion.

The stiff fabric of my new dress crunched inside my palms as I watched him from afar. Eating and drinking until he was satisfied.  Patiently, I stood still as time moved forward.  He had not spotted me...yet.  All was going according to plan.  How would he receive me?  Would he accept my proposal?  What if he denied my request?  

I tried to push every ounce of negativity out of my brain and focus on the task at hand.  My heart began to race as I saw him slowly sit by a stack of barley.  His head fell backward against the grain and soon only the sound of his patterned breathing could be heard.  

This was my cue.  It was now or never.

Desperately trying to make every step less noticeable than the first, I softly tip-toed toward the one who held my future in his hands.  His face was the perfect picture of contentment.  I couldn’t help but wonder what he was dreaming of.  I shook my head at the thought he may have been dreaming of me.  

I crouched at the feet of Boaz.  With one quick and nearly silent movement, I lowered my body to the ground and lied perfectly still, for fear that even my breathing would awaken him.  Minutes passed and I was certain he had not witnessed my appearance.  Now, it was all up to him.

For the longest time I lied there, wide awake, just staring at him.  It was surreal.  An array of emotions filled my heart as I watched the man who not only symbolized a part of my past but could also be my future’s new beginning.

I tucked both knees to my chest and shut my eyes.  It felt that only seconds had passed when my body jumped at the terrifying sensation of falling.  Only I was not falling off a cliff. I had however, fallen asleep. For a moment I forgot where I was.  I looked around trying to reorient myself and gulped at the dark figure sitting up in front of me.

“Who’s there?”  A hoarse voice spoke in the dark.

“Ruth.”  I sat upright.

“Ruth?”  His question settled to a whisper.

“Yes...it’s me.”  I felt my face flush and was thankful for the black sky that hid it.  “Did I wake you?”

“I heard a noise and awoke to find you...at my feet.”  

He knew exactly what my presence meant.  I froze, paralyzed with fear at what I would say next.  His eyes stared into mine full of expectancy.  

“Boaz, I-”  My fingers fiddled with one another.

I sat there, struggling for the words to come.  A precious truth broke through as the first memory of us came suddenly to mind.  Though I had not realized just who Boaz was, he knew everything about me.

 Who I was.  Where I was from.  What I had been through.  

And even so, he blessed me, never once demanding any sort of explanation as to why or how I came to be there.  He shared more with me than he probably realized that day.  He gave me a glimpse of God that I would never forget.    

I focused on him as my daydream faded. “You've always taken care of me.”  Boaz watched intently.  Hanging on to every word.  “I never thought I would be able to say this but-”

“Ruth-”

“I have found hope in you again, my redeemer.”  The moon reflected in his damp pools.  “Do you realize the blessing you have been to us?  You’re the gift I thought would never come.”  His smile gave me the courage to continue.  “Would you take me under your wing once more, as your wife?”

He covered his eyes with one hand and squeezed his fingers together, absorbing the tears about to fall.  Inside, I hoped this meant he was well pleased with my request.  He carefully took my hand into his own and planted both lips on top.

“You could have had your choice of any man...yet you've chosen me.” He shook his head slowly and sniffled away his emotion. “I've never been so moved by an act of love.”

My lashes fell at his words.  Once I looked back into Boaz’s beaming face I noticed his smile slowly start to fade.  His brows drew together and looked past me, as though he were deep in thought.   What was going through his mind?

“Is something wrong?” I asked, hesitantly.

He stood, still holding my hand.  “There's another man.”  Boaz cleared his throat.  “He is closer family than I am.”  


My head fell as I began to process the weight of his statement.  Boaz could not simply take me as his wife.  He had to first speak with whoever this other man was for he had rights both to family land and...to me.  Completely embarrassed and full of regret at what I had done, I let his hand go and turned my back to him.  Naomi had not prepared me for this.

His whisper fell like a gentle rain. “This is just one step we have to cross.”  He turned my shoulders toward him. “If this man so chooses you then and only then would I have to step aside. But…”  He tipped my chin with his finger slowly so I was again staring into his eyes.  
“If he does not, you can be as sure as God lives that I will.”

I left just before sunrise the next morning, full of anxiety at what our fate would be.  Boaz’s words echoed in my mind.  I could only pray the outcome would be in our favor.  Upon entering my home, my mother-in-law  rushed to meet me at the threshold.  Her face was full of questions.

“Well?” Naomi pleaded for information.

“I'm not sure yet.”  I slowly sat down. “There's been a...complication”

I proceeded to explain the situation in detail. To my surprise she was not at all discouraged on our behalf. On the contrary, her spirits lifted even more.

“You have nothing to fear, my daughter. This will be settled today, not one day more.”

~*~*~*~
Staring down at my dirt covered hands made me realize just how little my physical efforts had distracted me this time.  Desperately trying to help the hours pass, I worked alongside the other harvesters until their work was done.  Alone in the field I sat, frequently glancing into the distance, wishing for Boaz’s return.   

I waited for what seemed an eternity.  Brushing the dust off my palms, I stood from my comfortable spot and stared into the empty space a moment longer.  Perhaps he would not come home today.  What if they had not reached an agreement?  Would his heart be as broken as mine?  Quickly, I turned my body around to begin the long walk home when my nose abruptly landed in the middle of Boaz’s chest.

“You have to stop sneaking up on me.” I teased, trying to take the pressure off the obvious question I had.

“My apologies, again.”  He smiled, resting both palms on my shoulders.

I scanned over his face, looking for any evidence of joy or sorrow.  Neither were there.  My eyes sought answers.  Out with it already!

“I just left your home. Naomi said you left hours ago.”  He squinted in confusion.  “You’ve been working all this time?”

“Anything that would help the time pass.”  I looked away into the empty field.  “Although, I would be lying if I said it helped.”    

Boaz looked down and paused moment before continuing.  “We met today. The elders, myself, and your relative…”

Heat traveled up my neck.  Though earlier I had longed for this moment, now I only wanted him to stop.  In seconds he could say that I belonged to another.  The fear of that consumed me.  How could I cope with another tragedy?  

“Wait.” I pulled away from his gentle embrace.  Boaz looked down at his empty hands and back up at me.

“Ruth?”  He stepped closer, displaying the perfect combination of confusion and concern.  “You’ve yet to hear what I have to say.”

“What you are about to say will change things forever for us.”  My chin quivered.  “I don't think I'm ready.”

Boaz took my face in his hands.  “I can handle most things, but your tears are not one of of them.” He ran his thumbs over the falling drops. “You have to believe that our steps are being guided by the One who knows all things, including the desires of our hearts.”

My voice faded through a broken cry. “I'm afraid I have very little faith to speak of.”

Boaz reached for my hands and brought them to his chest.  “Your faithfulness brought you to me.”  A smile broke across his lips.  “Don’t you see?  You remained loyal in a time that most would not have.”

An image of Orpah walking away came to my mind’s eye.

He swept a flying piece of hair behind my ear.  “I never dreamed God would bring me a wife with such great faith.”

“A wife?”  Boaz almost lost his balance as my arms wrapped around his neck.  A soft laugh rolled out of his belly as I held him closer.

“You had nothing to fear, my love.”  He turned his head and whispered in my ear.

We stood silent in this moment together.  Feeling the darkness of my past suddenly give way to new light made me feel whole again.  There was no doubt that I was loved by a man, but most importantly I was treasured by my heavenly Redeemer.  And that was far more precious than any human emotion could give.

He had mended the pain of my past.  
Overwhelmed the fear that had forever overwhelmed me.  
And ultimately, renewed my faith and love for Him.

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