Esther

I knocked.  The stone covered hallway was eerily silent with only the exception of my short, anxious breaths.  Anticipation filled me with every second I stood waiting.  Silence.  Perhaps, there had been a mistake.  What if the king was expecting someone else?  Or worse, no one at all?  The thumping sound of my heart pounded loudly in my ears almost deafening me.  Something is not right.  I shouldn’t be here.

   

Suddenly, I could hear the escalating sound of footsteps approaching.  My stomach leaped as the closed door before me began to open very slowly.  Its creaking noise intensified my fear all the more as I stood motionless.

“Esther...of Susa.”

He knows my name.

“Yes, your majesty.”  I bowed my head before him.

“Please, come in.”  His hand motioned me to enter.

The most lavish dream could not have prepared me for what my eyes beheld.  I cautiously placed one foot in front of the other; trying to absorb all the room contained.  There were no words, only feelings of awe.  I glanced in front of me and noticed the drapes were pulled to reveal a star studded sky.  I stood frozen.  Mesmerized.  

In that moment I remembered being a young girl staring up at the very same twinkling lights, wondering if somehow, someway my mother and father were watching over me.  My heart lightened thinking of them.  Oh, how I wish you were here now.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?”  The king’s arm barely brushed mine as he approached the open window.  I jumped.

“Please, don’t be afraid, Esther.”  His eyes locked with mine.

Don’t be afraid?  How could I not be? There were no limitations to this man’s power.  What did he want with me here, anyway?  I tried to control my ever wandering thoughts as I came to term with who I was in the presence of.  A king.  He had the power to give me my life or take it at any moment.  Though I stood statue-like before him, inside I trembled.

            “I was just thinking about the stars.”  My gaze shifted to the sparkling heavens.  "They remind me of my family.”  

            My eyes followed his tall figure as he stepped away.  For a moment a smile formed on his lips.  I could feel the tension in my shoulders beginning to relax.  Lord, give me strength.  

           “Tell me of your family.”

    I nearly fainted.  Did he know?  Of course, the stars reminded me of loved ones lost but even more they represented my people and the blessing upon us.  What if the king knew the truth already?  Was this a trap?  I decided to choose my words carefully.

“My mother and father are no longer living, your majesty.”  The king paused upon hearing these words and rose his head.

“I am so very sorry, Esther.”  

We stood in silence for what seemed an eternity.  What was a man such as this thinking?  Why was he wasting time with me?  An orphan?   He had so many candidates to choose from.  Beautiful, young women from all across the land.  Yet, he knew my name.  I wasn’t sure whether I should have been flattered or afraid.  

The king sat in a luxurious white chair and dropped his head in both hands.  I remained still, uncertain of what my next action should be.  A deep sigh left his lips.  

“Night after night I remain here...trying to connect with someone who is to be queen.  Not just Persia’s queen, but my queen.”  His head snapped up.  “They come to me adorned with every possible accessory you could imagine.  Do they truly believe that will win my heart?”

            I knew all too well what he spoke of.  The young maidens could request whatever their hearts desired before seeing the king and it was provided without question.  I saw for myself those who were elaborately dressed from head to toe in hopes of pleasing their king.  Perhaps, he wanted something more.  

“They parade themselves as if they are already chosen.”  The king stared silently into the distance remembering these encounters.  “I am so weary.”

My first thought was to excuse myself from his presence.  Exhaustion was written all over his face and the last thing I wanted to do was cause any more.  Before I could say a word he continued on.

“And now I am here with you, Esther of Susa.”  He stood and walked toward me.

“Your majesty-”

“You’ve brought nothing except yourself.”  The king’s feet circled around my still form. “And that speaks volumes to me.”    

“You are very kind.”  I nervously tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

“No.”  His tone deepened. “That’s where you are mistaken. I am many things but kind is not one of them.”

A knot formed in my stomach as I heard his majesty speak this to me.  I couldn't help but notice an expression of puzzlement in the king’s eyes as he paced the floor.  His bewildered countenance gave every indication that many questions remained.

“You are favored are you not, Esther?”  His hands rested on the open window.

My gaze fell. It was true indeed what he said. I nodded.

“Have you any idea why this is so?”  He ran a hand through his hair, continuing to stare into the shimmering night.  Before I could breathe a word he whispered.

“It’s your light…”  His eyes held onto mine. “...this unexplainable light around you that has shown me how dark I really am.”  He lifted one hand to his chest.

I knew full well what the king was trying explain. The Light was my guide and my hope in all things even in this moment of uncertainty.  I paused and watched as this man of royalty struggled to find the right words.  

“Esther, of Susa.”  The king shifted his eyes to the heavens.

“Yes, your majesty.”  My shaking hands held onto each other.

“Your name.  Do you have any idea what it means?”

My mouth became so dry I could barely swallow the lump that was now in my throat.  Esther was my name but Hadassah was my legacy.  Was the secret evident?  Fearful thoughts consumed me.  I couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes for fear of revealing the trepidation in my own.

To my astonishment, the king slowly fell on his knees at my feet.  What was happening? I couldn’t understand why this man of power seemed to be cowering at my presence.  His gentle grasp stilled my trembling fingers.    

“Tell me, my lady, where do you truly come from for I have never met another like you.”  

“My king…”  

I brushed both damp cheeks as my lips quivered.  Witnessing his majesty humbling himself in such a way was more than I ever expected.  Overwhelmed, I knelt to where he was. I had not yet seen him so close before.  His eyes plead with mine.  

“Teach me about the stars.”   

“The stars?”     

“You, my queen.  For it is your heart that guides me now.  Not mine.”

Me.  He chose me.

Little did I know on this night of who I would soon become to my king and to my people.  Like a star leading a lost wanderer to their destination so would I be to them.  My experience taught me to believe that one small person can change history.  What an honor to be used in this way and see the Light of my heart prevail, allowing the stars to shine on.